maybe, someday
by ninejs
Summary: If you can make her happy enough, you think you can deserve her. —lana/cia


**moved from old account on 5/6/17. originally written 10/12/15.**

 **sad to think that i lose those original published dates, though. i was like one of the first people to write hyrule warriors fic, and i was the first person to write lana/cia! anyways, i wrote this for my buddy, my pal: rylan! idk if he uses this website anymore lmao.**

 **like with the shiro/siegbert piece i wrote, when i first published this fic, a spoiler warning was necessary. at this point in time, i don't think it is.**

* * *

"Sometimes you can't have the person you think you deserve."

The words tumble from her lips and Lana holds Cia as if she's trying to convince her to stay strong, to stay brave, to not close her eyes and stay awake - _alive_ \- but by this point, Lana knows it's too late.

What she doesn't know is when she starts crying, or when Cia vanishes into thin air, the weight in her arms suddenly gone. Lana looks down to see the other side of herself missing, and she simply doesn't know what to do.

But when she gets up, her other half goes back into her. She is now completely herself, not split in half, but it's gone too far, and Lana knows better. Lana is no longer just Lana. She carries Cia with her, too, and it feels strange. Before, it would be a good thing that they were reunited. Perhaps it still is.

However, it doesn't feel right to Lana.

Maybe her heart has been put back together, but it feels much like there's a gaping hole in her chest. She wants to cry, and for the life of her, she can't even begin to understand why.

(And she knows it's not because of Link. He's the last thing on her mind.)

She says something to Zelda, and the princess's voice comes back soft and airy as she stands next to the hero.

"Will we meet again?"

Before, Lana would have wanted to say yes a million times over. She'll always come back to visit the hero and his princess, even if it makes her jealous. But even back then she knew that wouldn't be true, she'd be trapped in her eternal hellscape of watching over them, smiling and laughing together.

So Lana hesitates. "...Goodbye."

* * *

She leaves the confused hero and princess behind, vanishing back to her overseeing realm. She doesn't like being here, she realizes, remembering the split and the woman who was born from it.

... _Is it strange to miss yourself?_ Lana wonders, over and over.

 _Probably_ , her mind answers for her.

Lana tries not to think again after that.

* * *

There is never enough time with Cia in her dreams.

The other half of her will show herself occasionally, making herself known with a grand entrance and Lana will smile at her and pat the spot next to her, gesturing for Cia to sit. The Dark Sorceress will do so, and sometimes they'll talk about various things, and others they will sit in comfortable silence.

There is one night, however, when Cia asks a rather peculiar question.

"Do you think Link will be happy with her?"

Lana pulls her legs up to her chest and contemplates for a minute. "I think so. Remember Cia, they always have a bond, no matter the time period."

Cia makes a sour face. "I just wanted him to choose you," Cia starts, and Lana wants to correct her and say _us_ , but she decides against it and lets Cia finish. "He may have a bond with Zelda but you deserve happiness, too. You have suffered for a long time, Lana."

"But you have too!" Lana is suddenly passionately shouting and staring at her other half, and even Cia is almost surprised at Lana's sudden outburst.

"In fact, you deserve more happiness than I do! You were in pain for so long, and it's why you became the half of us that you did!"

"Perhaps," Cia states, "But I was the half of _you_ that was suffering."

Lana sighs. "Yes, but even then, you were suffering much longer than I was... And that's exactly why you deserve more happiness than I ever will deserve."

It's here that Lana realizes when she was speaking about not deserving someone, she wasn't talking about Link. She was talking about Cia - in many ways, Lana is not deserving of her. Cia needs someone that will make her truly happy, to make up for all the suffering and pain she went through, even when they were one person. Lana feels - or _knows_ , rather - that she would not have the power to make Cia feel more happiness than she did suffering, even if Cia was still alive and breathing.

Cia says nothing in response, and Lana is left to her thoughts.

But Cia holds her hand, then and Lana can feel a smile floating over both of their faces and an unshakable calm falling over them.

* * *

But dreams do not fill the hole in Lana's heart. She wishes to split again, to have Cia in reality, so that they can be together and have their talks in the real world.

Cia feels otherwise.

"You know that being whole is the best option, Lana."

The dream ends early that night.

* * *

Cia has this habit of holding Lana's hand when Lana thinks about sad things - like not deserving Cia, or how she sometimes misses the other warriors she came to know.

It's comforting, and Cia's hands are warm and soothing and they make Lana smile and feel much better in such a short amount of time.

But on this occasion, it is Lana's turn to ask Cia a peculiar question.

"Cia... are you happy?"

Cia says nothing for a long time. For such a long time Lana thinks that Cia's not happy and she'd rather be holding hands with Link or destroying Zelda and then Cia huffs slightly.

"Do not worry," she starts, "I have found myself to be... most content."

"So, you _are_ happy, then?"

Cia nods, a small smile finding its way onto her tanned skin. "Mostly because you continue to talk to me, even though I am long gone and we cannot see each other in the real world anymore."

"Well, why wouldn't I talk to you?"

"I... feared you might resent me, after my misbehavior. I did jeopardize your chances even more."

Lana purses her lips and shakes her head. "At the end, I wasn't even talking about Link, you know."

Cia raises a brow, and maybe it's then that she realizes just who Lana was really talking about. It's sad, and morbid and strange, too, but Cia smiles fondly and squeezes Lana's hand.

"I know."

Lana smiles back. If she can make Cia happy in this sad little dream world of theirs, then maybe, someday, she can make Cia happy enough to deserve her.


End file.
